So You Want to Go to JKP?
by CI-KiteWolfling-NYPD
Summary: New Year, New School. Mom decided to send Josh and I to James K. Polk middle. Well, alright. Doesn't seem any different than any other school we've been at..I mean, what could POSSIBLY happen? LOL, R&R!
1. Chapter 1

"Mom said that we would love a new school, that it would be all normal and crap once we get into it." I muttered mutinously to my brother, Josh , slamming my locker shut with a vicious, practiced kick, "_My goodness was she wrong_."

"If I have a normal day here at this school, I will run home and kill myself." My slightly older, and slightly taller twin said as we headed down the hall towards out first hour class. It wasn't even morning break, and already here at James K. Polk I had seen three teachers staggering out of the teachers lounge, several sheets to the wind, drunk on root beer, had narrowly escaped death or severe injury from one of Gordy the Custodians wild and bizarre traps to snare the infamous weasel. Oh yeah-not to mention that it was a Monday, so I had been snapped and snarled at by a vast number of people with sleep still on their minds, and pillows still glued to their heads.

"Hey, Darlene! Josh! Wait up!" I knew that voice. I turned around, and came face to face…well, no…face to forehead with our friend Ned Bigby. His round face was alit, and he looked genuinely happy to see us after the long weekend. That was one of the things that were still relatively normal about James K. Polk. The friends are friends no matter what, even if it starts raining mustard in the cafeteria, like it did last week.

"Hey, Ned, how was your weekend?" Josh asked him kindly as we headed up the stairs to Sweeny's biology class. Josh is really tall, so he has this thing where he tried to make himself seem shorter around Ned..i dunno. Ned has first hour with us, which is pretty cool. I sit next to him towards the middle of the classroom.

"It was a blast. Susie and I went out and…." He let his sentence trail off.

I shifted my books under one arm was we joined the throng of students lining up outside Sweeny's room, and grinning like a fox at Ned, "Oh, come on! What happened?"

"Nothing! We went out for a movie, what do you think happened?" Ned gave his most dazzling smile of ignorance, which he does really, really well. I looked over his head, and saw Suzie Crabgrass coming down the hall towards us with Jennifer.

"Hi Ned!" Suzie called. It was like the sound of her voice lifted him up in the air, and twirled him around. I could practically hear the love music in the back ground as she and Moze approached.

"H-hi Suzie!" Ned sputtered, looking like a complete idiot.

Moze and I traded knowing looks as she and Suzie passed, heading to wood shop. I don't even know where Cookie was, I think he's down on the first level with ninth grade level math, or something. He is such a loser, but one of those losers that you can love.

"Darlene!" Moze called, turning on her heel.

"WHAT?" I hollered back, cupping my hand to my ear. The waves of children were starting to sweep her and Suzie away, a mad crowd of Monday rabid middle schoolers

"_WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TAKE YOUR NORMAL WAY TO SECOND HOUR!!! GORDY IS SETTING UP ANOTHER TRAP, AND UNLESS YOU WANT TO FIND YOURSELF MISSING A FEW LIMBS, I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU TAKE THE LONG WAY!!"_

"OK, THANKS!"

"Oh, great, I wonder what he has up his sleeve this time." Josh sighed, sending meaningful eyebrow messages to Ned.

"I hope they won't have to evacuate the entire downstairs this time." Ned said wearily.

All at once, Sweeny yanked his door open. If there was a soundtrack to my life, you would hear horror music and screams right about now.. Sweeny looked positively mad with..i dunno, power? After all, we did have a quiz today.

"Come in, class, come in!" My insane teacher wheedled, wringing his hands together evilly, and once again I wondered what my mom had gotten me into, sending me and my brother to this lunatic school.

After coughing a little against the swirling, ominous grey fog that had suddenly rolled in from nowhere, Ned, Josh and I passed across the threshold, into the realm where Sweeny is king, and we are merely his livestock.


	2. Chapter 2

For we, the students of James K Polk, lunch time is the perfect time to hang out with your friends who maybe don't have the same classes as you in the morning. Cookie is defiantly one case. Ned, Josh, Moze and I don't see him all morning, and usually during first break we can't cross the entire school to see what he's up to in AP English without being late to our third hour class.

Monday lunch is Meatloaf surprise, which generally doesn't help the mood of all those people who hate the first day of the week to begin with. Josh and I had come to the lunchline first, so we poked around at our food, hoping that it wouldn't poke back. Ned slid onto the bench across from me, looking elated.

"I JUST GOT A 'B' ON MY MATH QUIZ!!!" He exclaimed, looking as though he had conquered the world.

"Really?" I said through a mouthful of peas, trying first not to gag, and then not to laugh. Ned is in the easiest math that JKP has to offer, whereas Josh, Cookie, and I are in the most difficult, and are still getting 4.0s.

I am NOT a math geek, though, thank heavens. Anyone says otherwise, I will personally knock their teeth out.

"Oh, dear, Darlene. Have we got another problem for you." Josh said in a strange tone of voice, looking off in some direction.

Ned and I turned to see Moze striding towards us, juggeling her lunch tray, and a large vase of flowers. Moze looked half amused, and half murderous.

"These are for you." Moze grunted, slamming the vase down on the table with enough force to shatter the glass, "Loomer wanted me to send them to you. And THESE"

Here Jennifer shoved her meatloaf surprise onto Neds plate, whos cry of protest was drowned out by the girl continuing, "Are for YOU since YOU said you would eat my meatloaf surprise if Cookie got an –A on his math test."

"Cookie got a WHAT?" Josh and I both shouted, our eyebrows shooting up.

Cookie, like, never got anything other than straight A's. he was such a nerd, but like I said before, we really like him. I had heard from Suzie that Moze and Ned have a bet going every time there is a test in AP calculus, but I had no idea that the stakes were this high.

"Where is Cookie, anyways?" Josh asked, trying to ignore that steaming pile of literal CRAP on Ned's plate.

"Probably crying his eyes out in the boys bathroom." Moze said, with that wicked grin on her pretty features that I had grown to become wary of this year. Josh and Ned often have heated debates over who is more vicious and cruel-me or Moze. The score stands to fifty to forty nine-with Jenn in the lead, BUT NOT FOR LONG!!!!!

"Eat it, Ned!" Moze unexpectedly shouted, looking suddenly like a mad dictator, "EAT AND TREMBLE!!!!!! BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

Here she threw her head back and laughed a long and evil laugh. One that certainly topped her last one, that much I could say.

"How was that, Josh?" Moze asked my brother, suddenly all smiles once more as Ned began to poke at his meatload surprise, an apocalyptic look of pain and agony on his face.

"Well, it was a lot better than the one you cracked in science last quarter, which has been on the charts for quite some time.." From nowhere Josh pulled out a graph, "But it doesn't crack your record, which was when Darlene dropped all her notes for English, and you didn't help her until five seconds AFTER you won the contest for, 'who is the cruelest and most likely to take over the world.'"

"Yeah, thanks so much for helping." I growled, taking a swig of my juice.

Moze shrugged, "Hey- I DID help you out, right?"

"Right, after you steamrolled the score. I was so beating you."

"We were tied, Darlene."

"I don't care."

Out of nowhere came the lunch lady, pushing her cart. She took one look at Ned, with his plate piled high with the nasty stuff, and she said, "Mmm…Ned, I see pain in your future."

"I can feel it already!" The kid moaned, holding his stomach.

Then the lunch lady transfixed Moze with her most deathly look, "Jennifer, watch yourself. I can sense darkness in your future…I can sense that someone close to you is about to turn the tables on what looks to be a sure win…."

"Heh, heh, heh, heh….." I snickered evilly, and rubbed my hands together.

The lunch bell rang, and as quickly as she was there, the lunch lady was gone.

"She comes and goes like a wraith in the night, stopping here and staying there for only but a moment, teaching us all the meaning and value of life, and our lunches!" Josh said solemnly.

As one, we all stared at my brother, Ned with his fork full of surprise half way to his mouth.

Josh gave a spastic twitch, "I have NO idea what I just said."


End file.
